2005-04-07 - 7:00 a.m.

PMS beeyach

I feel lousy but it's nothing that couldn't be fixed my a simple sex-change operation. Yup- I'm on the rag and as such tired, bloaty, achy and cranky. Oh, and I'm leaking heinously gross stuff. I hate my period at least 80% more than most women seem to. The ironic thing is that when I get my period I'm miserable, but when I don't get it I worry. The longer I go without it the more neurotically worried I get. Am I pregnant? Horribly sick? What?

Stupid body.

That and now I'm all worried that my profoundly bizzarre body cycles are caused by the unconfirmed but suspected ovarian cysts my gyno spoke of last time. That was one of the most unpleasant appointments I've ever had and as such I have no intention of seeing that woman ever again. The only good thing that came out of that was a little piece of paper that declared me free of ghonnorea, chylmadia and that stuff. While I was sure I was clean (I mean, why wouldn't I be? For a nymphomaniac I'm really quite chaste) it's always nice to have an official report that I am.

In other news, I'm annoyed with Cyrus right now. He's a handful (albeit a bearable one) under normal circumstances but now he's driving me crazy. Night before last I dreamed he was transformed into a little hovering cartoon-character bug. Everywhere I went he was buzzing in my ears. I would try to tell him that I was trying to do something and ask him to calm down but he would just keep buzzing. That's symbolic of how he makes me feel sometimes. He's always buzzing and a lot of the time I don't mind, but he keeps doing shit like he did last night in HEB. I went accross the street to get some cereal and he was there. First he made a great, theatrical, loud, Shakespeare quoting preformance telling me to get away from him in which he knocked some dean dip off a display. I was humiliated but then he followed me to the register. He was doing that "come hither" finger thing prompting me to announce that he doesn't own me and I don't respond to such childish tactics. Seriously, do you know any adults who do the little finger bendy thing to tell you to come talk to them? Especially while they glower at you? Anyway, when I didn't respond he came over to talk to me. I'm sure it was painful for him to walk the 6 feet. He began saying something I didn't care about and I began loading up my groceries.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" He demanded, once again talking to me as if I were a small child.

So I told him he was annoying the fuck out of me and left. It felt good to be so bluntly rude. I should be a bitch more often. It's really quite pleasant and it keeps people from walking all over me. It may not win me a lot of friends, but at present that doesn't seem like quite such a big deal. I've been lousy at interpersonal communication these last few days. Example:
Friend: "Hey, Emma, what's up?"
Me: "Get the fuck away from me or I'll rip your intestines out and make pretty pretty celtic knots out of them and sell them at the Ren Fair!"

Maybe that was caused by PMS. Or maybe I'm just a spontaneous bitch sometimes.

The last thing I wrote before this thing. The next thing I wrote after this.