2005-04-01 - 8:31 p.m.

I really, really love Jason a bunch.

I think I need to go to sleep early because I think I need to meet Jason in Austin early. These are, however, things that I think- not things that I know. I've been trying to get in touch with Jason all day, but I don't know where he is. When I don't know where he is I don't know what we will do, so I sit here and wait. I theoretically despise waiting, but this isn't real waiting- like the kind that happens at the doctor's office or in the supermarket where you resort to reading inane magazines while you wait your turn in line. This is waiting as a backdrop for doing a pleasant amount of nothing. I am thoroughly content with doing nothing right now. I spent WAY too long in the metals lab today and have generaly been working harder than I like of late. I need an evening to chill and I'm getting it now. The only thing that could make it better would be if Jason was here. I know, I know- the two of us were having massive troubles a little over a week ago, but something happened- we just remembered why we fell in love in the first place. I remember... I know why I love him. This boy makes me smile. He once told me that I'm his sunshine- even on the days when I'm a little gray cloud. The feeling is mutual. Even when he's being weird or depressed he makes me smile. Think... by the end of this month we will have been together for two years. In college-land and in neurotic-people-land that's a long-ass time. I count myself profoundly lucky on those grounds.

The last thing I wrote before this thing. The next thing I wrote after this.

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