2005-03-04 - 5:42 a.m.

Time zones and insomnia

Ever have one of those nights (and I know you do) where you can't sleep and can't sleep and you look at the clock and it's one a.m. and then you close your eyes, just for a second, and thinking you still haven't slept you look over at the clock and it's five a.m.? I had one of those. I still have the distinct feeling of not having slept- though I know I must have. And yet I feel very awake and not at all like going back to bed.

Once again, I am not USUALLY and insomniac, but I get little blips like this now and again. Perhaps it's because of the decongestants I'm taking- stuff like sudafed tends to hype me up, but if that's what it takes to banish this wretched cold, then so be it.

So here I am, at 5 a.m., online. The oddest thing is when I only sleep those 4 hours between one and 5 and I awake to find new (non-spam!) messages in my inbox. Apparently Cyrus is now on thefacebook.com, so I took down the publicly posted link to my blog. While I'm sure he would be mostly oblivious, I don't want to offend him because sociopath or no, he's still one of my dearest friends. One of my other late-night messages came from Diaryland- you know, one of those notifying you that so-and-so has left a note. I reflected how odd it is that the two people who leave me notes most often do so in the dead of night.

Then I remembered that the earth is round. Like the woman who left me an encouraging get-well-type note (hissandtell- check her out. Most delightful) is in Australia if I'm not mistaken. Or the other one (bluemeany- also an excellent diary) is in Iraq. I should remember this since last night I was talking to Max and he remarked that he couldn't sleep. I responded that it was only 7 p.m. so why should he even be trying? He reminded me that he's studying in London for the year. I asked what difference that makes and was once again reminded that the earth is indeed round and there are these things called "time zones." And now I sound like another Americentric American. Here I am, assuming that if it's 7 in Austin, Texas, the understood global time is 7.

People not in my time zone, I appologize.

2005-03-03 - 8:41 p.m.

so sick the doctor doesn't even know how sick I am

I went to the doctor today because I'm sick to the point of death. I was diagnosed with a severe case of melodrama and told to take two asprin. The doctor told me I have the common cold to which I responded "Are you mad, woman!? I obviously have strep or mono or the flesh eating virus isolated to my tonsils! At the very least I have the type of influenza that killed all those people back in whatever black-and-white decade that was!"

But noooo. She says I'm "fine" and "need to drink plenty of fluids." The ironic thing is that this illness which forces me to drink lots of liquid will keep me from drinking lots of liquid this weekend. Get it? Like, she wants me to drink orange juice but I wanna drink beer but can't? See, that was funny!

I would have demanded my money back after she failed to confirm my hypochondria, but since I was in the student health center I wasn't paying anything in the first place. The only time I had to hand over mom's credit card was at the pharmacy where I bought a lifetime supply of cough suppressants and decongestants.

And I didn't even miss a single class today. Not even bowling. The downside is that I had to face up to embarrassingly not breaking 100 on the second game today. I bowled a 99. So close, and yet still so far- and capable of lowering my beloved average. Now it's down to a 115. I keep getting worse and worse, but as they say, bowling is one of the beautiful things in life. It's the only sport that can/is frequently played while drunk, and to quote a friend of mine "Bowling and sex are the two things you can be horrible at but still enjoy."

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go hack up some plegm.

2005-03-03 - 6:42 a.m.

Cyrus, politics, and guy friends

I told you about how I got the "Paws Preview" Orientation job on campus? Well, I was talking to Cody/de Sade and Cutter and both were amazed that people actually get paid for that. Cutter applied because he wanted to help, Cody more because he wanted to corrupt the incoming freshmen. Oh, and for the record, while I may continue to refer to Cody as "De Sade" because it suits him so well, you should be aware that Cutter is not a nickname. Cutter was born named Cutter. And you know what else? He has a brother named Blade. I'm pretty sure his parents were doing drugs for the better part of the 70s and early 80s- that's the only justification for naming your sons "Cutter" and "Blade." Then again, they are from Kansas... or is it Nebraska? Oklahoma? One of those states where there aren't a lot of people and kids get bored enough to go cow tipping. You ever been cow tipping? If not, you obviously live in a blue state. I live on a blue island in a sea of red. While yeah, I'm still registered to vote back in Wimberley, I think of myself as an Austinite. Austin went way Kerry back in November when the whole rest of the state was voting for it's "local boy." That's something I find extra funny about Texas. Back when I worked in that wretched cafe, all the good ol' boys would sit around talking about how good it is to have one of their own in the White House. I pointed out to this unappreciative crowd that Bush was orriginally from the Northeast like all of his political ilk. These men were apalled and quickly tried to set me straight.
"Girl, don't you know he's from Midland?"
Fortunately, I didn't have to respond to that because some other Bubba corrected the first one-
"Naw, he's from Luling."
First Bubba goes
"I thought he was from East Texas."
And that is extra remarkable because Midland is in WEST Texas anyway.
All I could say was "Crawdford, dudes." and walk off. Half the country saw "Fairenheight 9-11" and because of that can pick out both Crawford, Texas and the previously unidentifiable Flint, Michigan on a map. These guys, however, could probably not find Austin on a map.
Speak of Michael Moore, I enjoyed his movies well enough, but they're obviously political propaganda. Doesn't mean they aren't good, but they are propaganda. I mentioned this to Cyrus the other day and he was appalled. He's both devoutly Catholic and dogmatically Democrat. Thus, he was creaming himself over Kerry all last year. The saddest thing is that he STILL hasn't gotten over the election. As we drove to Mass on Sunday night he abruptly said "I bet we could of beat Bush if Edwards was the primary candidate."
I informed him that he should probably move on.
And he didn't.
He kept posing the same question over and over again as we walked into the church until I finally said "no, Edward's wouldn't have had a chance and the election was FOUR FUCKING MONTHS AGO!!!"
Okay, I didn't really say that last part. Cyrus is reasonably certain that swearing is grounds for damnation. Why am I friends with him again? The other day we were sitting on the quad and the previously unmentioned Poppy was there. Poppy is such an enthusiastic history major that he has "SPQR" tattooed on the back of his neck (the Latin initials for the Roman Senate). The only reason that his history-majorness is important here is that Cyrus is also an enthusiastic history major. We were all talking and, during a lull in conversation I finally said what I've been thinking for the last 2 years.
"Cyrus, do you know what a sociopath is?" I asked.
He looked confused and said "Well I am certainly not much of a social person!" and adjusted his floor-length cape (seriously).
Poppy started cracking up.
"Cyrus, dude-" Poppy said "get a fucking dictionary and look it up- 'cause that's what you are."
I hope he has looked it up. You may think you've known a sociopath, but noooo, nothing compares to Cyrus. Everyone at the Catholic Student center conisiders him something sent by God to test their faith. I often can see the machinations of my peer's minds as they are suddenly overcome by the urge to kick him and then try to ask themselves what Jesus would do and then try to say something nice. Cyrus is oblivious though. You can say something nice, you can say somthing mean, but he will just keep telling you in a VERY loud voice about the battle tactics at Gettysburg.
And one final thought on my stuck-in-the-past, cape-wearing homie- he doesn't think he's a sinner. Hellloooo- that's the whole point of Catholicism? We're all horrible, horrible sinners and should be filled with constant guilt. That's what this week's sermon was on. The priest made a joke, saying that no one is perfect, and no one doesn't sin- not even himself, the priest, and not even Cyrus. Cyrus got a look of shock and horror and then shook his head as if the priest didn't know what he was talking about. Of course the whole church burst out in laughter.
Oh, and one really, really final thought? Jason is jealous. He keeps saying I'm going to leave him for Cyrus. Cyrus is short, bearded, obnoxious, and undatable on SO many levels. I have about a dozen male friends (hanging out with other girls is over-rated) and most of them are intellegent and/or good looking. I ask that if Jason find a random dude to be jealous of, he pick better. I mean, why not Cutter, De Sade, or The Senator? I'm not romantically inovlved with these fellows in any way, but they're certainly better choices than *shudder* Cyrus. In fact, Jason's worry has extended so far that he has begun reading my e-mail with some regularity. Could my life be anymore gratuitously weird?

2005-03-03 - 6:27 a.m.

sick, sick, sick

Okay, finally going to the docotor today. It hurts to swallow my own saliva and I can't hear anything. And it's been nearly a week. Thus, I am sure I have strep meets an ear infection or something equally dire. I'm going to the semi-free clinic on campus, sitting down on the table, and not leaving till I get antibiotics and maybe some discontinued pain killers. The only downside is that I wanna feel better now, and the student health center doesn't open until 9. Fools! Can't you see I'm sick now!? I've been putting off going to the doctor for at least 5 days, but since I've made up my mind, I want to go right this second. And no one give me any of that crap about it being weird that I'm up this early.

The last thing I wrote before this thing. The next thing I wrote after this.