2005-01-12 - 12:55 p.m.

my soundtrack

"And I find it kind of funny
and I find it kind of sad
that the dreams in which I'm dying
are the best I've ever had."

Is it a sign of immaturity that every moment of my life has a song? I live life like someone in an iTunes comercial. I rummage through my piles of mix tapes, trying to remember that song I taped off 101X back when I worshiped music more unabashadly. I think we all went through that phase. When you're 14, pretty much everything on the radio seems GREAT. So I would tape things and then transfer them onto other tapes and then tape over those. Half of those tapes were then destroyed by the cassette deck in my old car. Oh, yeah- that was another thing wrong with it. No AC, no blinkers, no starting, AND it ate casettes. That was the last straw.

Anyway, I live with a soundtrack. I was expecting this mental soundtracking to stop as I got older. My magical crush on the radio ceased years ago, but I'm still adicted to music. I suppose the one sign that I am becoming an old person (musically speaking) is that I'm all crotchety, like "emo? what's this crap? Turn on the flashbacck lunch... they're playing the Cure and old-school Manson!" Then I'm all dancing around to Tears for Fears and cranking it up when "Runaway Train" by Soul Asylum comes on because that was my favorite song when I was nine.

And then I realize I'm cranking up "Runaway Train," and actually admiting it, and I no longer have any street cred. Damn.

The last thing I wrote before this thing. The next thing I wrote after this.

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