2004-12-23 - 12:05 p.m.

crazy goth

A big thank you to the folks who read my previous entries and became worried about my mental health, relationship, etc. Just for the record, Jason is still grappling with his low self esteem and family *issues* but has nonetheless realized that he was being a bit of a jerk earlier and re-proclaimed his undying love for me, which is just as it should be, since I love him in return more than words can say. Of course, a relationship can never be completely devoid of problems, and the one of the day is that after conversing with my mother I have surmised that she hasn't the foggiest why I'm still with that boy. *sigh* Typical mother. Of course, I love her as well, but my two loves are irreconcilable.

As for mental health, I'm afraid I'm doing quite well as of late. You may have heard a thundering wooshing noise as all the stress rushed out of my life when I left that lousy job. God, foodservice is lame. I went back to the resturant to collect my last paycheck and felt alienated the whole time. My ex-boss scarcely spoke to me, and the rest of the staff/interested customers made fun of my outfit, which was tame as my outfits go (if you know me, you probably know what I mean). I'm sorry people- I can't help that I'm a fucking rock star- I just can't. :P

Speaking of being a rock star, my new issue of Gothic Beauty magazine is due any day now. I open my mailbox like a kid opening a christmas present. Do I sound like a poser (yet again)? Well I suppose now's a good time to discuss this. Yes, I have a subscription to Gothic Beauty. Yes, I AM a poser. I have recently redyed my hair hot pink and have a notorious collection of fishnets and striped tights. You may think I'm engaging in a stupid and pointless fashion, and you're right. You may hate goth chicks, and I do as well, more than you ever could. You may think I'll be embarassed looking at pictures of myself years down the line, but you will be too- it's a universal fact of life. In the end, I am what I am.

The last thing I wrote before this thing. The next thing I wrote after this.

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