2005-02-15 - 7:03 p.m.

I am Helen of Troy

Turns out I'm guilty of the same sin I always held against Amy. Despite being in a relationship, I kinda string guys along. Remember Anthony three years ago? Or Thirty-something Mark? Or more recently Bryce who I still think kind of had a thing for me but didn't say it and instead just kept asking me out to coffee? I mean, I certainly don't flirt like she did, but I seldom say "get the hell away from me." Like this other Mark dude from German. I started talking to him and he seemed like a really cool guy- the kind I'd want to hang out with. I still want to be friends with him and he still seems cool. The problem is that after discussing him with my girl-friends their conclusion was that he's exhibiting somewhat obsessive behavior, asking my height and middle name and such, and he seems to be *interested* in me so I should tell him to go away. So I think I will but then I get to talking to him and am like no- he's too cool to do that to. He's not being weird! He's just eccentric and I like people like that. So I keep IMing him because I want to be friends. Is this sending him the wrong message, so to speak? Is he exhibiting behavior that is Creepy with a capital "c" or a lower case one? Because I CONSTANTLY exhibibt lower-case-c creepiness. It's just who I am. And I tend to ask unusual questions like that too. Hell, I think I started it. So what am I to do? I really like this guy in a non-making-out way, but I love Jason and don't want anything bad to happen. My biggest worry is that if this fellow does make a move Jason will kick his ass. For a refresher course, Jason is 6'3" and like 300 pounds- oh, and he doesn't get angry often, but when he does... I just wouldn't want to be the guy in his way. He's so very protective of me and I know it's a sign of love- I just worry. I worry about a situation that is somewhat out of my control. I can't control the hearts of men. I can't make them want or not want me much more than they already do, and I certainly can't keep them from being angry about it.

Is this like Helen of Troy claiming to be the innocent victim in Trojan women? She works with her beauty and sexuality to convince the men it's their fault they're at war and not hers. She plays innocent, but from the reactions of the Chorus we know not to believe it. The funniest thing is that Amy played Helen in that play our senior year of high school. Best casting ever...

But I should quit worrying. I know everyone reads my blog. Maybe this will be sufficient warning- a great big red sign that says "LETS BE FRIENDS BUT IF YOU WANT TO BE ANYTHING MORE JASON WILL KICK YOUR ASS." Yes, this should be sufficient.

The last thing I wrote before this thing. The next thing I wrote after this.