2005-01-14 - 11:29 a.m.

first comes love, then comes marriage

"Lets get married
in a big cathedral by a priest
cause if I'm the man that you love the most
you could say "I do" at least"

That would be the White Stripes- "Hotel Yorba" if you must know. It's a funny, charming sentiment and a very good song, but it introduces my rant de jeur. So, so many people my age are so eager to wed. While yes, I have every intention of one day marrying Jason, I feel it's a bit rash to do that now. Wanting to marry so young strikes me as being akin to wanting to die so young. Why rush it? Everyone will have his day to die. Why marry now? Everyone will have a chance to do it eventually. The only reason to marry so young would be that you are either not comfortable living in sin (I'm all about the sinning) or you plan on cramming in a half dozen marriages in your lifetime. I remember something Eugene once said to me. He told a story about someone else asking a woman "will you be my first wife?" That still makes me laugh, but it's sad too. Then, on the other end of the spectrum are my lovers... Jason is 24 and his parents are still together but have never wed. As for Jon, his mother said her vows while bouncing little toddler him on her hip. If you ever say "Emma, your boyfriend is a bastard," I'll have to agree with you in the most technical sense inasmuch as a bastard is a child born out of wedlock. As for when I shall marry, if Jason and I can handle one another long term (all signs point to yes) we will eventually do that thing in the big cathedral with the priest. It would probably be beneficial if we waited (I know this sounds awful) until my grandpa dies becuase he thinks Mexicans are only good for yardwork (and this is an improvement- he used to think they were good for nothing). When it does actually go down though, nothing could prevent our wedding from being a huge train wreck. We each have enough consumately bitchy relatives (though he has more) to ruin any social function. I say this blithely, however, because if you know me, you know I adore an absurd set-up as much as anything. If I got angry and punched his aunt in the face while wearing a big frou-frou dress, I would pray someone snapped a picture of me in mid blow so I could frame it and put it on my desk. And please, since if you know me well enough to be reading this you probably know me well enough to be invited- I beg you- when people start yelling, be the first one to throw cake. Even when I was a little girl, I always dreamed of a wedding with a cake fight...

The last thing I wrote before this thing. The next thing I wrote after this.