2005-01-09 - 2:55 p.m.

dreaming

Last night I dreamt I was in a giant Victorian hotel. There was hidden treasure somewhere and a massive indoor ballroom/basketball court with stained glass windows and herringbone hardwood floors. I was wearing my Zero shirt while a woman who looked suspiciously like Uma Thurman begged me to help her find the treasure before her evil-seperated-at-birth sister got to it and the Hotel/universe caved in on itself. I was all about it but then I was challenged to a quick game of B-ball by a boy who had black hair, a very lazy eye, lots of eyeliner, and something really sexy about him. I agreed, but then we just started making out in front of all these people. We thought we should maybe find somewhere more private, and next thing I knew we were in the woods outside my parents house, kissing like drunken teenagers. Suddenly I became worried that my parents would catch us, so I ran away. Then the pinkish atmospheric twilight lifted and became bright daylight as I ran until finally I reached the world's most complicated swimming pool. I could see him swimming on the other side. He was very tall and skinny and I had a moment to reflect that he didn't seem to be Jason. Or was he? in the dream I couldn't remember what Jason looked like except that he looked basically like that, but I was thinking that I remembered soomthing about Jason not having a six-pack, as this boy did. Of course, since this was all in a dream, I was trying to reason with a brain that may as well have been made of cotton candy. By the time I accepted that I wasn't thinking clearly, the boy was gone again and I sat down and cried. I had to go to work in the resturant of the Hotel then, i changed into my white-shirt waitress uniform and I was very sad. Then Uma caught up with me and I ran up to the roof to stop the evil lady. My thigh-high gladiatior boots kept falling off so Uma and her gorgeous Chinese kung-fu assistant had to go on without me. I was stumbling/climbing the rickety stairs up to the top with the conviction the building was going to collapse beneath me when a beautiful brunette looking much like Uma pushed me down this shaft. That was the evil twin, I thought as I fell. And that same lady had been so nice to me previously back in the resturant. This thought caused me to go through a wormhole in my subconcious, and I was back in the resturant- it was the resturant of the hotel, but I had the same boss and co-workers I had in wimberley. They were angry because I had been gone for so long and it was really busy they said. They were all running around and I didn't really feel sorry for them. I didn't want to help- I just wanted to leave. But then someone said there was a family at a table in my section that wanted to see me. I made my way to the ornately carved mahogany booth with red velvet seats and saw, sitting there, the boy I was in love with and a few other people. He said "I wanted my family to meet you" gesturing to the other people, I don''t remember what they looked like- i was just staring into his eyes- so dark and lopsided. I wanted right then to run away with him and get married and live in this idylic dreamland of rainbows and fairies, but right then my Mom came up and told me our vacation was over and we had to leave. We checked out, but I suddenly realized that I couldn't find my Zero shirt. As we drove home, I was oppening boxes and bags. I was panicing, but then I knew where it was. When the boy had been in that resturant, he had been wearing it! My Zero shirt is my favorite. In taking it, it was like he had taken a chunk of my soul.

And then I woke up. It was about 10:30 A.M. I made myself a cup of tea since my coffee maker is broken and tried to decipher that mess of a dream. The most messed up part is that it wasn't even that odd as dreams of mine go. My subconcious is a twisted thing... Oh well, the only thing I could figure out was that the boy I was lusting after throughout was not Jason, but a representation of a younger/ fictionalized/ idealized Jason. He had a lazy eye when younger (he still calls his left eye his "crook eye") and there was also a time when he was downright svelte- thin enough to even fit into one of my t-shirts. Oh, and I checked my drawer- my Zero shirt is still there, but Jason really does have a chunk of my soul.

The last thing I wrote before this thing. The next thing I wrote after this.