2004-12-17 - 9:25 p.m.

jason cult dream

Jason is in the middle of another nervous breakdown. Goddamn, I love that man, but he is straight-up crazy. Night before last I dreamt that he made me a slave in a diabolical ancient Egyptian cult headed by him. He took a branding iron from the fire which was surrounded by a group of chanting, monk-robed inductees and pressed it into my arm. It stung like hell and left the impression of a circled "X" on my arm, not unlike the "X-men" logo. It was actually kind-of nice to see him take control of a situation for once (said only with partial sarcasm). I'm sorry- perhaps that was too candid? Well, I'm still under the impression that no one reads these things, so I'm going to go ahead and state that I believe that dream was an outgrowth of my frustration in a relationship where I am DEEPLY in love and yet held at arms length by this man. Just for the record, we have not made love in I-don't-don't-know-how-long. Sometimes I want to shout at him 'do you know how many boys would LOVE to be with me right now?' but I don't. I keep loving him, hoping he'll get over his emotional hang-ups enough to snuggle me like he used to.

The last thing I wrote before this thing. The next thing I wrote after this.

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